


Heartache

by LayMeDownToSpace (IGotTooMuchLove)



Series: It started with... [8]
Category: South Park
Genre: Apologies, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guilt, Inner Dialogue, M/M, POV Kenny, Past Relationship(s) Mentioned, Past Underage Sex mentioned, References to Depression, Secrets, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, cute kids being cute kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15637527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IGotTooMuchLove/pseuds/LayMeDownToSpace
Summary: New Kid and Kenny meet up to talk about what happened at the police station and the headquarters of Freedom Pals. Will everything turn out for the better or worse? You'll find out in today's/tonight's story.





	Heartache

**Author's Note:**

> I guess, this is compensation for my last short story.  
> Not Beta-read. WE DIE LIKE MEN, PEOPLE  
> Enjoy!  
>   
> Update: **I probably should inform that I made a Twitter account where I promote my stories and have polls and other discussions about future stories. Hope you guys check that out as well[twitter](https://twitter.com/LayMeDown2Space)**

"Kenny, can you take out the trash?"

I hear my mom calling me from the kitchen but don't really feel like moving from my bed. Haven‘t felt like it for some time now. Was this what being depressed meant? Was this how mostly Stan felt? Well, in any case, I really needed to snap out of it. This almost makes me feel like the time when the social workers and child protective services came over to our house. Now if I tried to talk back at mom for not wanting to do chores, dad probably would jump in and verbally attack her. I really don't want that at home. I just want this peace to last as long as possible. For mom, Kevin and Karen's sake.

"Coming," I said, getting up and leaving my room. The sight of piles and piles of beer cans in the corridor makes this pathetic house just more depressing. The stench of stale beer that filled the room didn't help either.

Sometimes I really wish dad could be his miserable self somewhere else. Mom didn’t need this shit in the house since she’s the only one that brings something to the fucking table. He just drinks most of the money away and bitches about how there is no more. When shit like this happens... Karen, Kevin and I could use some serious change of scenery. Maybe I should start working at City Wok again. Then I would save enough money for something nice. Maybe a week at camp or something like that.

As I reach the kitchen, I don't bother putting my orange parka on. It's not really that cold outside tonight anyway. I just take the two plastic bags that I found by the kitchen entrance and quickly leave the house. Maybe some fresh mountain air would actually do me good.

On my way to the trashcans, a sudden cold wind makes me stop. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have put my parka on. However when I look up at the sky, it feels like I woke up from something. A dream? A nightmare? A fucking coma? I don't know but it's definitely some sort of an awakening.

The passing of colors from yellow to dark blue and a few sparkling stars (or were those satellites?) almost took my breath away. Jesus, that sounded like what some old white lady would say.

Standing here was kind of strange, to be honest. In this moment I felt a little bit different, could almost say that I felt more alive. Almost... It was as if I’ve noticed only now the details that had always been there. The tree tops in the forest and the surroundings darkness made me wish you were here to witness it with me, New Kid.

I must be getting old... Just like Stan.

[Mysterious Parka] Look outside. The sky looks nice tonight.

I don't know why I wrote you, New Kid. I knew you were pissed at me for a few things. Especially, after what happened near the police station and at Token's house. I still don't have the balls to apologize for what had happened there. I can only imagine what you had thought of me back then, what you’re thinking of me now. Probably that I’m an emotionless asshat who just brushes off fucked up things as nothing but...

Guilt is a powerful force when it needs to be. You told me not to write you unless it was important or school related. Now was neither, really. Just a blink of moment to appreciate, I guess.

[Silence] Yeah, I've noticed...

[Mysterious Parka] Would make a good painting... if you're into art.

[Silence] Kenny, stop reading minds and stealing my lines D:< I was about to send that.

I couldn't help but let myself smile at that. Hashtags on Coonstagram and text messages told a lot about you, New Kid. You somehow expressed yourself better digitally than in person. Maybe you’ll tell us why you chose this. Some would have mistaken you for another person but I've seen and interacted with you long enough to know that it was truly you, New Kid.

[Silence] I'm still mad at you, though.

That, of course, made me bite my lip. You had every right to be mad at me. To be honest, I was mad at myself. It's hard not to be when I'm the one who fucked a lot of things up.

I was thinking of writing 'I know' but quickly deleted it. I didn’t know how to answer this honestly, not sounding like a pathetic excuse. However I changed my mind and started to type the same sentence again.

[Mysterious Parka] I know. Sorry, I just

I didn't really want to talk with about what happened but... I knew at some point we would have to. I can't deny the fact that I sincerely missed spending time with you, New Kid. Not just at school and while we were doing homework together at Butters's house but...

[Mysterious Parka] I miss when we were kind of friends, dude.

At least, I thought of you as a friend, Buttlord. I don‘t really know what we are or were. I wanted to add 'Also, I miss you being part of the game' but quickly erased it. That just sounded too selfish. It would have made things worse. Probably would have made the heartache and guilt that I had been feeling for some time more intense.

I didn't expect any answers at the moment, so I just threw out the two bags and started walking back home. Heck, maybe even that last message was a bit too selfish. Butters was right, I needed to somehow fix this and as soon as possible.

[Silence] I miss you too.

I stared at those words for a moment. I ran over every single letter. It was just so surreal. Maybe I was just reaching but it almost felt like there was sadness behind those words.

[Silence] Also, why are you naked outside? You'll get a cold.

Now that made me frown and smile at the same time. You couldn't have known that I wasn't wearing my orange parka unless you were nearby. I looked at the road and saw a silhouette of a person moving towards me. I waved and got a wave back. Yep, that was definitely you, dude.

"Hey, I'm not naked. I still have my pants and shirt on," I told you tearing on the fabrics a little bit, trying to prove my ‘not nakedness’.

You pulled out your phone. The light from the screen illuminated your face and I could see that you were rolling your eyes at me. Well, it was obvious that I wasn’t naked. Maybe only parts of my arms.

[Silence] You know what I meant.

[Silence] Also, it's weird listening to you speak clearly. Your voice sound different.

[Silence] But not like Mysterion’s. Different in a good way.

"What's this, Buttlord?" I smirked as I walked closer to you. "Like the sound of my pure velvety voice? Why... I'm flattered."

I couldn’t help but giggle as you gave me the middle finger. That‘s what I get for teasing. That middle finger was an obvious influence from Craig. Although when he and Tweek became an item, he barely does that anymore. Middle finger must be an indicator for his mood.

"What are doing here, dude?" I said crossing my hands on my chest. Ok, now I was starting to get cold but I wasn’t going to let you know. "Your house is like near the bus stop."

You took out your phone and typed for a while. Sometimes I wish you talked or used sign language. I mean, the official sign language… I'm shit at learning new things but I could try. Probably would catch on really quickly.

[Was at Kyle's. Mom asked me to give back Mrs Broflovski a book that she had borrowed from her. Played some video games with Kyle and Ike, if you're wondering why so late.]

"Doesn’t answer my question, dude," I said raising an eyebrow when I finished reading the text on your phone. Before I could ask you again, you put a hand on my mouth. Well, this was new way to tell me to shut up.

"I came to check on you," I heard you whisper impatiently. "I'm still mad at you but can't seem to stop worrying about you or your family."

Your words were silent, so as soon as I heard you speak, I stopped breathing. For once I really hated the barking of dogs in the neighborhood. In this silence even they were too loud.

I still didn't understand why you wouldn't talk. From what I have heard, yes, there was a slight accent, or maybe that was your dialect, but I thought it sounded cute. You clearly aren't mute or have that... what was it called... selective mutism? You just chose not to speak out loud. So, I don't understand why you would hide your voice away. However I realized that when you would speak, it was special. It somehow felt like finding out that somewhere out there, there is a rare Chinpokomon. Except, that rare Chinpokomon was standing right in front of me.

For once I was the silent one. However I wanted to tell you a lot of things. Mostly my regrets and apologize for what I had said...

You somehow had this strange effect on people. I first had noticed it on Butters but now I’m being affected as well. What are you doing? You’re making me to want to open up to you. I feel that if I told about the crazy and impossible things in my live, about all the times I had died, you would believe and not judge me, New Kid. You feel like a trustworthy person.

Without really thinking, I came closer and hugged you. We stood there for a good minute not really knowing what to do. I probably expected resistance but you hugged back, Buttlord. I kind of missed this too.

"Ok, now I really am cold," I confessed, hiding my face in your shoulder. You unzipped your purple jacket and wrapped me with it as much as you could. The warmth radiating from your chest and the fabric was welcoming. Before I could stop myself, I added in my most suave voice: "Warm up your princess a little more, my King?"

The side headbutt was expected but even you couldn’t not smile a little bit at that. However what I didn’t expect was for you to lean into my face and actually give a long lasting kiss on my cheek. Not only did I stop breathing at that moment, I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating as well.

I could feel one of your hands cup my other cheek and when it seemed like you were going to give me a real kiss, not like last time... my knees gave out. I slipped out of your arms and fell on the ground with a loud thud. I could only guess that my knees were actually bleeding since it happened so quickly and they hurt like a bitch. However the stunned look on your face probably matched mine. What in Jesus tap dancing Christ did just happen?

I tried to say something but no sound came out of my mouth. Seeing that I was struggling, your face went from stunned to worried in milliseconds. For a moment it looked like you were thinking on going to knock on my front door for help but I stopped you with a gesture.

Still unable to speak, from the possible shock, I just pointed at myself and showed an 'ok' sign. Remembering that such things as cell phones existed, I started typing with a shaky hand.

[I'm okay. Just knees went spaghetti on me.]

[Dude, don't scare me like that] You typed into yours. If this had been an actual verbal conversation, one would say this is comedy gold. Well, it kind of was. If I could only find my voice again, I would be laughing hysterically.

[Dude, I scared myself. Also, congrats on making me speechless. 11/10. Still would recommend your method of warming somebody up]

You bit your lip trying not to smile but I could see a corner twitching. You gave me a hand to help me up and I took it. Checked my knees for damage but saw nothing. Probably just hit them hard because my pants were fine. However by the way how sticky that area felt, I could only guess both knees were be busted. Right in that moment the front door of my house opened and mom appeared.

"Kenny you forgot your... Oh hello, New Kid," said mom holding my orange parka in her arm. You only waved back, catching Karen as she ran into you and gave you a hug. "Kenny didn’t mention you coming over."

"He," I said, surprised just how normal my voice sounded again, "was just passing by. Can I walk him home?"

[Dude, you don’t have to do that] I only shook my head when I saw what you wrote.

"Ok, but take your jacket, Kenny. You're already red from the cold."

I didn’t dare to look mom in the eyes but I was almost certain she knew the change of colour wasn't from the cold. Jesus, this kind of shit shouldn't bother me. I had Tammy suck me off and... fucking nothing. No suspicions. Well, not nothing, I fucking died after that but I wasn’t fazed by a good time, a simple BJ. Yet this? Suddenly I am fazed by a simple kiss on the cheek? I’m calling bullshit on myself.

Maybe the difference between Tammy and you, Buttlord, is that I actually like you and want this to be more than just a one time thing. Maybe… I want what Tweek and Craig have. I quickly took my parka from mom's hands and put it on. Since it had been inside the house, the warmth from it was nice.

"You'll come to visit us on some other day, won't you?" asked Karen, giving one last hug and moving away from you. A smile and a nod were good enough of an answer for her. "Come back home soon, Kenny."

I said a quick goodbye while you waved to my sister. I already have a feeling that mom will want to have a small conversation with me when I get back home. Yet right now I didn’t want to think about the possible shitstorm. Right now I had this moment.

We walked quietly down the sidewalk, avoiding a few homeless drunks who asked for some spare change. There were no streetlight but we really didn’t need any. The stars were our guides. In such a short time it got dark enough for us to see the Milky Way.

Yep, I was right. There had been something different about that wind. Might as well have been the actual Wind of Change.

"Buttlord, I know it's not the right time or place but..." I said when we reached your house. I didn’t dare walk further because I felt like I was trespassing. "I'm sorry for everything. Back at the police station and Token's house. This.. We're used to being that level of dicks to each other so I didn’t give it too much thought on how it would-"

I didn't get to finish what I was saying. As soon as you touched my ungloved had, I felt something go through me. Not electricity like some describe while being touched by their crush but definitely different. Even though it sounded stupid to me, it felt like you were... reading me?

"Forgiven," you said looking at me. A second later the irises of your green eyes lit up like a pair of LED lights. Now I was certain that you just read me.

I wasn't sure what really happened but this reminded me of that part in Mass Effect where Shepard reads Prothean data before getting Prothy the Prothean out of his time capsule. Also, kind of reminded of the story with Craig in Peru that the guys had told me.

In any case, I thought that moment in the game was kickass but this was different. Seeing this happen in real life was amazing, enchanting. This proved that you were like me, with actual superpowers. Just... woah.

"What?"

"Don't forgive me so easily. You’re probably doing a mistake."

"No," you whispered quietly.

Strange… There was no doubt, no wavering in your decision. However that single word was enough to ease the heartache and guilt that I had felt for weeks. Hard to believe but I actually believed what you just told me, that you actually forgave me.

By the way your eyes moved, I could see that you were looking, searching for something. Before I could ask you if something was wrong or even properly react, you leaned in and gave a quick kiss. Unlike the previous time, our teeth didn’t bump painfully together. Also, this time my knees weren’t traitors either.

"Did... Did you put a spell on me?" I asked, still staring at your eyes again. Jesus, if you can hear me, send help. Something is happening beyond my knowledge… and I’m having it bad right now. "Or a curse? Because either way you magicked my breath away."

Of all the things that came out of my mouth, I couldn’t believe I would say a really bad pick-up line from a video game. Seeing the unnatural glow fade away from your eyes, you just hid your face into my shoulder. I could hear you trying to hold back a laugh but you still snorted. By the way you hit my back really hard a few times, it was obvious that you were telling me to stop and shut up. Huh... It seems bad pick-up lines are your weakness. Who would have thought?

[Dragon Age 2? Are you kidding me?] You showed me the screen of your phone.

"You want me to recite poetry from Inquisition instead?" I asked raising an eyebrow and moving towards your front door.

[Maybe.. But another time.]

When we reached the stoop, I stopped. I really needed to go. I could only hope I wouldn't meet the same hobos on the way back home.

"Well... Goodnight, dude. I'll see you in school."

Before entering the house, you pointed and me and showed to fingers. 'You too', huh? Maybe I didn’t need to learn sign language.

On my way home, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. At some point I was smiling so hard my face started to hurt. It felt like I did something good. Like I actually won the lottery. I guess, I did in a way.

When I got home, the lights were already out. Strange… Mom and dad didn’t go to bed before midnight. Had I been away for that long? Then again, maybe the saying 'happy people don't count time' was true.

For once, my shit of a house didn’t seem so sad and depressing. However maybe that was because some of the beer cans were gone. As I reached my room, I thought of going lights out without brushing my teeth but the buzzing of my phone stopped me.

[Silence] Should I try to get back to the game?

[Mysterious Parka] It's up to you. I know Butters would be happy to see you back.

[Silence] What about you?

[Silence] Would the others take me back?

[Mysterious Parka] You already know my answer.

[Mysterious Parka] Maybe not as your old alter ego but definitely as a new one. You need to create a new superhero persona.

[Silence] I’ll think about that.

[Silence] Thanks, Kenny. Goodnight and sleep well, dude.

[Mysterious Parka] You too.

After weeks of bad sleep and my self-consciousness eating me alive, I think I can finally let myself relax. I was right about you, New Kid. I was right when I used the word 'overwhelming' to describe you. Back then I just didn't realize how much.

I just hope to see you back on the street fighting crime with us once again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked the story leave a kudos. Want more stories with Kenny/New Kid? Subscribe to the "It started with..." series.  
> Comments and reviews are always welcome and appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading.


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